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A blog about infertility, adoption,and adoption loss which has finally led to a beautiful miracle who was worth smiling for."Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future."Proverbs 31:25

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

More Than One?

I know it seems crazy that I would be struggling with this now.  I've got my baby.  Shouldn't I be satisfied.  The truth is that we aren't getting any younger, another child will most likely take yet another three years (making me 33 or 34 for #2, and oh gosh hubby would be rounding 40).  Some days I think, "No Way!" like the day of my last post.  But, then there are moments when I think, "Well... maybe".  I guess I'm afraid to rule out bringing home another child.  I would like Olive to have a sibling to grow up with.  I really enjoyed having a little brother.  But, for us, it's just not as simple as deciding to have unprotected s*e*x.  What are my options?  Well, there's adopting again.  Ugh.  The thought of going through all that again just makes my head hurt.  Just before Olive came, someone very close to me offered to surrogate for us.  However, we would want to adopt frozen embryos and have them implanted in her.  There's something I don't know much about.  And there's always trying to do treatments.  Although I have the least hope in that of all my options.  Before thinking to hard on any of that, I have to decide if I want another baby.  How does one decide this?  The only thing I can come up with is a pros & cons list.
Pros
  • Olive would have a sibling.  Built in best friend and playmate.
  • Hubby would have his chance for a son. 
  • Everybody loves a baby.
  • Children are a blessing.
Cons
  • My hubby travels for his job.  Half the time I feel like a single mom with Olive.  It's very difficult.  Two children on my own with limited help (my parents who work full time and a friend that comes twice a week) would be soooooo hard.
  • Money.... nough said.
  • Time - 0 time divided between two children = one exhausted mommy
  • Getting my hopes set on something that may not happen.  Really that's the worst con of all. 
How do you know if one is enough or if more is merrier?

2 comments:

Ashley said...

I think you kind of have to look down the road at ultimately what do you want your life to look like. Because they won't always be small and need you constantly. The "only children" friends that I've had have always wished they had a sibling growing up. Yes, it may be hard for a few years but I think it would ultimately be worth it when you have your kids/grandkids gathered around, you know?

Bethanie said...

Ashley, thanks for your input.

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