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A blog about infertility, adoption,and adoption loss which has finally led to a beautiful miracle who was worth smiling for."Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future."Proverbs 31:25

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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Pap me if you dare

*WARNING- Not Man Friendly Reading*
I've been having some lady equipment issues.  Without going over all the details, lets just say that as usual my junk is messed up.  I've been dealing with it for a few weeks now.  I finally broke down and went to the doctor today.  I really hate going to the doctor.  I'm a terrible patient.  At least I imagine that I am to a doctor.  And we don't have any insurance.  We haven't had any since the hubby lost his job back in Oct. 2010.  But, I went.  I knew they would pap me.  I HATE those!  I've had dozens since 2003, but I never get used them.  They are easier, but never fun.  IFers are export pap-ers.  The nurse (also my sis-n-law) put out the tools and told me the doctor would be with me in a moment.  As I sat there the speculum was staring at me.  Daring me to bolt out the backdoor of the office.  Then I realized how much the spreader part looks like a dolphin head.  "I don't need to be afraid of that thing", I thought.  Then I started getting mental images of a dolphin and um... lady bits.  The doctor came into the room with me laughing out loud at the silliness.  She asked me how my nerves were doing?  (considering the adoption loss and all)  For a second I think she may have thought that I lost it.  I assured her that I was as sane as usual.  We got the hard part over and she prescribed estrogen.  Later my sis-n-law called to tell me that the doctor forgot to mention that I will be fertile for a few weeks.  It was a big shocker because I never consider myself fertile.  But, now it seems that I have a ttc (trying to conceive) opportunity.  And I'm taking it.  I'm not sure what I would do if I actually did get pregnant.  It's never seemed this possible before.  So, we'll see.

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*POS means Pee On a Stick*

3 comments:

Ashley said...

The dolphin head reference made me laugh! I'll have to remember that the next time I have a pap. Just out of curiosity... is it because you had a pap or because of the estrogen that you are supposed to be fertile?

Bethanie said...

Ashley, I'm sure you've heard the theory that when a woman has had a miscarriage she is more fertile afterward. I guess because she has passed a lot of old uterian tissue. I didn't have a miscarriage, but something similar.

Ashley said...

I actually haven't heard that theory. Interesting!

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