The Pink Pacifier

You will notice in the pictures of BabyZ that she is using a pink pacifier.  It was the pacifier that we brought with us.  She learned to suck by using it.  When we said goodbye it stayed with her in her crib.  I guess I was hoping that I would see it again - along with her.  When N called us with the bad news, one of the only things I said was that I would like to have that pacifier back to remember BabyZ with since she actually used it.  N said she would try to get it back.  However, she didn't.  N didn't say why she couldn't get it for me and I didn't ask.  I hope that K is using it for BabyZ.  But, I have my doubts.  Most of all, I can't stop thinking about it.  Everyday I think about that pink pacifier and BabyZ using it.  I would love to have it so that I could feel better connected to her.  But, I can't.  For all I know, K may have tossed it.  I have strong feelings about this.  Very strong!